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Explain why the student loves that particular college.
Be specific. Explain what the college offers that makes it such a great fit with the needs of your student. We all want to feel loved. Your case is always much stronger if the administrator hears how much the student wants to attend.
Telling the college that you got a better offer from another college can sometimes backfire. Mentioning a better offer might put pressure on the college to "up the ante." But the administrator just might say, "Well, you should go to the other college then." Instead, you may want to take the approach of gently mentioning the better offer from the other college, but emphasize that this college is the one where the student would really like to go, and ask how you can work with them to make that possible.
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Explain why you can't pay the suggested amount.
Again, be specific here. And don't fudge the truth. Administrators can detect sincerity right away, so it pays to be honest here.
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Mention any special conditions that affect your capacity to pay for college.
For example, if the student worked before starting college but understandably cannot work while in college, then you can report a "loss of income." Similarly, if a parent's earned income will be less in than what was reported for the prior year, you can report a "loss of income" here as well. Under such special conditions, once the student is admitted, contact the financial aid office and explain that the income earned in the prior year is largely irrelevant, since it will no longer represent a realistic standard on which to base for your ability to pay for college.
Other examples of special conditions include loss of job, reduction of income, unexpected expenses, natural disasters, separation or divorce, etc.
The college financial aid system is largely formula driven, but financial aid offices also use what is referred to as "Professional Judgment" or "PJ". This means that financial aid administrators can ---depending on their personal evaluation of your situation ---modify your EFC on a case-by-case basis.
Financial aid officers are only human. When you contact financial aid professionals, you need to do everything possible to be the best person you can be in order to create a positive bond with that person. If a financial aid officer likes you, (or your student) they may work just a little harder for you, using their professional judgment to create a better financial aid offer.
Don't negotiate with anyone other than a financial aid administrator. They are the only ones who can make a decision in your case. Secretaries and aides in financial aid offices are sometimes hired for their ability to say "no" with a particular level of conviction. If you need to practice your negotiation skills feel free to practice on a secretary. Just don't expect any immediate, affirmative outcomes from such practice.
No matter what, you must never, NEVER have an argument with a financial aid administrator! I promise you will lose. Instead, you need to be such a compellingly good and decent person, your financial aid officer will act as your ally. The common cause you make can be a powerful way to find the funds you need to close the gap.
When you make a proposal about what the problem is, don't suggest a solution. That will trigger a "No." Rather, try what marketing people call an "assumptive close". Instead of asking whether the problem can be solved ask how you can remedy the shortfall. Asking "how" relies on the expertise of the financial aid officer, and enlists him/her in the problem-solving process. Now they are on your side. Once the financial aid officer suggests a process, you are halfway to your goal. Follow the recommendation, and more often than not, the financial aid advisor will want to make it work in order to validate his/her expertise and power.
Let the financial aid administrator know that you understand and appreciate how difficult his/her job really is. If they know that you are not trying to merely take advantage of them, they are more likely to respond to your needs.
Heroes are often hard to find these days but one thing is clear. If you are looking for true heroes, you will find them working in college financial aid offices across the nation. Day in, day out, perceptive, hard-working financial aid professionals make college degrees possible for deserving students. More than any other player in the college system, financial aid administrators are the architects of opportunity for our young people. We urge that you treat them with the respect they deserve.
If the financial aid administrator does anything that encourages you or that indicates he or she is willing to work with you, take the time to send the person a short, hand-written "thank you" note. Financial aid administrators rarely get these so they will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Eventually, they may even learn to associate your student's social security number with your personal warmth. In the note, you should chronicle for the record any good news from the financial aid person in the event they forget. It pays to create an audit trail on good news and let bad news get lost in the overworked memory bank of the financial aid office.
Don't forget to share your good news with people in high places. If a financial aid officer does something wonderful for you, send a letter to the college president praising the professionalism of that financial aid officer. The president is likely to send a congratulatory note along with a copy of your letter to the financial aid administrator, which may ensure continued good behavior on your behalf by that person for the duration of your student's entire college career.
Your student should know how important it is to behave well with the financial aid people at the college. The willingness of the financial aid office to work with you will be based in large part on the impression your student makes.
Case in point: I was a bit apprehensive about my older daughter and her relations with the financial aid officer at her college. When she was a senior in high school, she like many normal teenagers, had a world-class eye roll, shoulder shrug and sigh which, when done simultaneously, gave a very clear two-word message and it wasn't "Good morning!" But whenever she met her financial aid officer she shook hands, made eye contact, answered questions in complete sentences, and when the interview was over, said "Thank you." Her good manners and ongoing positive attitude helped to improve our financial aid package by several thousand dollars.
If necessary, go over the heads of the financial aid officers and appeal (gently) to the dean of students or even the president of the college. You may also find an ally in the Dean of Admissions office since they have already expressed their desire to have you as a student and might be willing to be your advocate in the funding arena. People often like to be heroes. They may put pressure on the financial aid office to find a satisfactory conclusion.
Be prepared for the long haul. Often negotiations with financial aid administrators take a long time, sometimes months. But if you are prepared to endure and deal with the associated paperwork and phone calls, you are likely to prevail. In one instance, I watched a client improve the financial aid award from about $7,500 of loans, to more than $17,000 in grants which did not have to be paid back.
Was it time consuming? Yes. Was it paper intensive? Yes. Would the person rather have been doing something else? Yes. Was it worth it? Are you kidding? That negotiation at the outset of the freshman year created a template for the next three so in this case, the time consuming negotiating process yielded another $40,000 in financial aid over the student's college career. If you calculate the rate of return per hour of effort, it is likely to represent the highest hourly compensation that parent received during his/her lifetime.
If everything fails (and sometimes it does), thank the financial aid people in writing for making the effort on your behalf. Even though you may have lost this battle, you now have a bit more leverage when it comes time to negotiate next year's financial aid offer, since most colleges don't want to lose a valued student because of something as relatively minor as a financial problem. Remember, the percentage of freshmen that eventually graduate from a college is an important quality issue in the popular college-rating publications. Keeping your student enrolled and on track to graduate helps the college improve their rankings. Now they owe you one.
